weeknotes #39
Last updated 5 months, 1 week ago
- hello, heya, hi and hey!
- been listening to mal blum's newest single i'm so bored on repeat.
- still struggling with process stuff around my long form writing. i had a quote on an old vision board from maya angelou, “i make writing as much a part of my life as I do eating or listening to music”. i misremembered this just now, and thought it was about enjoying writing as much as eating or listening to music, which is a such a good slip up it must say something about me. not sure what right this second, but something.
- on process, i am reading a series of blog posts on how to enjoy writing more, and i think so far (only like 3 posts in) I have found that I'm often dragging myself to look at a blank page and eke out words, out of obligation and crappy prioritisation. i could always productively procrastinate and write on a topic i do actually have ideas for at any time. wild i know! on some level i feel like you should concentrate on one thing at a time, even though historically i never have. time to lean into having many balls in the air, i think! this shift might alleviate most of the issues i have with the actual "producing words" part, but we'll see if i end up ever actually finishing anything. hopefully he has more tips for that later on.
- the vibes have been so off this week. a lot is happening, most of it bad, in the news cycle and wider world. i don't have much to add to this other than maybe donate to some mutual aid fundraisers and be nicer than normal to people. everyone i've spoken to about the bad vibe is feeling it too!
- i am still slowly writing about social media for a video. i am increasingly feeling weird about being on Zuckerberg's internet, by which i mean instagram. i know whatsapp is in his tentacles too, but i am but one boy asking the queers to move stuff to: where exactly? i don't currently have answers or polished products to get people to jump to, but perhaps i will after i finish writing this thing? stay tuned!
- i have such a slow typing speed i have discovered - about 60wpm if i type naturally aka not how you're supposed to - but even that slow it "only" takes around 90 minutes of concentrated no-take-backsies writing to write 5k words. i'm trying to think if i've ever written 5k or more in a day in my life, maybe not even at uni?? but I realise i'm not counting all the stuff i have sent people in instant messages, lol, so maybe i have.
- read orwell's "why i write" and i was really struck by his four categories of motivation: ego, aesthetic, politics and (preserving) history. he says most people are motivated by more than one, and defines politics as any attempt to change people's minds on something. i liked the book overall less than i expected (and rushed through one essay) due to not as much of it being about why he wrote as you'd expect, but i recommend it overall!
- you can tell i'm enjoying writing more cos i won't fucking shut up about it!
- enjoying really leaning into my proclivities. is this what autistic unmasking is supposed to feel like? is this joy?? i just/only need people on blogs/discord/text/face to face (i guess) to tell me that my way of being is fine, actually. i feel so much more able to do whatever i want! the case i'm thinking about is mostly reading non-fiction (and on tech and social justice stuff) and feeling fine about it for once! beats worrying i should be reading the next great literary novel. i might read it, i might not, it will be a surprise to us all!
- sorry if there are loads of gigantic run-on sentences in this. i am trying to break it up a little before posting, but as long time readers have probably guessed, i'm reading these five times tops and i definitely miss stuff lol. i hope you can forgive me.
- been eating copious amounts of ice cream, tortilla chips and guacamole, dal and rice, and pistachio cream chocolate.
- how are you? are you feeling the bad vibes? are you having an amazing time despite it all?
- see you next week 💟
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